ALERT! There's a new DANG in town and it's the longest DANG to date by58%according to our data scientists. It's calledLIZARD DOMEand you can watch it by pressing one of these smooth and ergonomic buttons below:
And if you just can't bear to watch the cartoon anymore and wish to have an AUDIO-ONLY experience, the song is available to buy and stream via these slightly less smooth and less ergonomic buttons below:
Benson-san,
Ayudame! I have a constipation. It has been weeks. You said to send it here. It is starting to talk to me. What do I do, do? You're my only hope, nobody else will take it.
Please help, Mike
Dear Mike,
I'm glad you reached out. DANG is a product of many uses, and it can and arguably 'should' be used as a laxative. Our technique stems from the 'Baby Einstein' method, in which those who are pregnant put headphones on their bellies with Mozart playing. Just plug DANG into your subwoofer of choice, sit atop said subwoofer in the lotus position, and crank the bass. Research shows most human bowels have the same reaction to deep DANG, and you should experience rapid progress within 45 seconds. Keep that toilet close, and much like the Mozart mom, you'll spawn a little nerd into the world. Flush before you get too attached.
